To Whom it May Concern,
It is my pleasure to recommend Colin Stevenson for admittance to Hampshire College. Colin is one of the most exceptional students I have ever come to know. In addition to being a National Merit Scholar, he is rated in the top five percent of his senior class, with an overall nonweighted GPA of 3.89. He is also great at oral sex.
Throughout Colin's four years, Colin has never ceased to challenge himself. He has tackled numerous AP courses, including, but not limited to, AP US History, AP Government, AP English, and AP Computer Science. He received "5's" on all of these examinations, a record for his senior class. In addition to this, I've never come harder.
You hear that, ladies on the admissions committee of Hampshire College?
Colin's achievements at Roosevelt High School are not limited to his academic portfolio. When he is not busy leading meetings for the drama club, he can be seen in the journalism room where he is editor-in-chief of our school paper, "The Millcreek Herald." Also, one time, we fucked under my desk right before I had a conference with the superintendant. Colin has NO SCRUPLES about pleasuring older women whenever they want, especially, I'm sure, if those older women were the ones responsible for his full scholarship.
Outside of Roosevelt High School, Colin is an avid volounteer of charities in the community. Every year, he has worked at the Community Fair in the "Helping Others" candy booth, which donates all of its money to children with leukemia. His enormous heart and dick would be an asset to the Hampshire College community, as Colin never fails to work at 110 per cent in both his studies and pounding my g-spot like he's doing street construction.
In conclusion, any college would be lucky to have Colin as a student. I'm lucky to have him as an advisee as well as an underage fuck buddy. Come on, uptight admissions ladies, I know you're getting hot under those plaid pencil skirts.
If you have any questions, feel free to contact me at 310-555-6786.
Sincerely,
Diane Jones
Advisor
It is my pleasure to recommend Colin Stevenson for admittance to Hampshire College. Colin is one of the most exceptional students I have ever come to know. In addition to being a National Merit Scholar, he is rated in the top five percent of his senior class, with an overall nonweighted GPA of 3.89. He is also great at oral sex.
Throughout Colin's four years, Colin has never ceased to challenge himself. He has tackled numerous AP courses, including, but not limited to, AP US History, AP Government, AP English, and AP Computer Science. He received "5's" on all of these examinations, a record for his senior class. In addition to this, I've never come harder.
You hear that, ladies on the admissions committee of Hampshire College?
Colin's achievements at Roosevelt High School are not limited to his academic portfolio. When he is not busy leading meetings for the drama club, he can be seen in the journalism room where he is editor-in-chief of our school paper, "The Millcreek Herald." Also, one time, we fucked under my desk right before I had a conference with the superintendant. Colin has NO SCRUPLES about pleasuring older women whenever they want, especially, I'm sure, if those older women were the ones responsible for his full scholarship.
Outside of Roosevelt High School, Colin is an avid volounteer of charities in the community. Every year, he has worked at the Community Fair in the "Helping Others" candy booth, which donates all of its money to children with leukemia. His enormous heart and dick would be an asset to the Hampshire College community, as Colin never fails to work at 110 per cent in both his studies and pounding my g-spot like he's doing street construction.
In conclusion, any college would be lucky to have Colin as a student. I'm lucky to have him as an advisee as well as an underage fuck buddy. Come on, uptight admissions ladies, I know you're getting hot under those plaid pencil skirts.
If you have any questions, feel free to contact me at 310-555-6786.
Sincerely,
Diane Jones
Advisor
posted by Bloom at 12:40 AM
2 Comments:
Hilarious.
You give great community service. Of course my own version of such service is two stints on the telephone at San Francisco Sex Information. That's where I learned that 77 is better than 69. (u gt 8 mor)
I am 69, i.e. born in '41, but my license plate was 77fiend. A kid only twice your age pointed me to your FMRB video which is superb. Penn has it just right, and I'm gonna keep and play it till you are old and grey. Such enthusiasm deserves to be experienced repeatedly.
I'll keep practicing my oral skills and Graefenberg (the extra e represents the umlaut) dowsing on the off chance of getting an invitation from someone with more than one percent of your communication skills. I want to see the blogs you censored for uncoolness, just for a chance to see more of the inside of your head. Head ... hmmm. Maybe the Wayback Machine has them.
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